The major teaching tool of our evolution has been the continuing experience of challenging relationships to which we have been drawn in spite of repeated failures in the past. The most important seven words in that process are not, “I love you,” “I love you, too,” but, “May I give you some feedback?” “Yes.” I learned the Relationship Feedback Technique during The WorldLegacy Leadership Program described in the November 2014 Let Magic Happen newsletter. The approach is demonstrated in a video on his site.
Relationship Feedback Technique
The steps are as follows:
1) Always ask permission to give feedback
2) Speak authentically from the heart
3) Share what wasn’t working
4) Acknowledge any breakdowns
5) Look for potential breakthroughs
6) Share what was working
7) Set intentions together for the future
As a licensed clinical social worker, I provide counseling to adolescents, adults, families, and couples. My work is focused on meeting an individual wherever he or she may be in life and assisting them through periods of change and growth in respect to his or her life experiences. I believe in a collaborative approach to healing. My relationally focused psychodynamic style supports the idea that healing occurs through our connection with others. By providing a safe and solid therapeutic relationship to a person, that person begins to experience a greater range of perspective regarding their own life and the lives around them.
I believe that increased self-awareness enables individuals to recognize that they have more choices in their lives. Self-awareness also allows a person to gain ownership and empowerment in making these choices. As a result, a person can discover a new freedom in which to live life. I sometimes refer to therapy as mind yoga; the ability to have increased flexibility in how to think, perceive, and interpret the meaning of the events that take place in our lives. I believe our minds need exercise just like the body in order to stay fit and healthy.
Wikipedia defines psychotherapy as an intentional interpersonal relationship used by trained psychotherapists to aid a client or patient in problems of living. As a practitioner, I accept that problems, struggles, and even trauma are intrinsically connected to living. Because I see struggle as a given, I appreciate that problems provide opportunities to delve more deeply into who we are as human beings and find constructive meaning in our past and present day lives. In turn, we can gain greater power in writing the script for our future.
I participated in the WorldLegacy Trainings beginning in January of 2000. I had recently finished my graduate school program and was working at my first clinical social work job. My supervisor, Miki Jaeger, recommended I take part in this “workshop” which I readily enrolled. All I really knew at the time was that I was embarking on some kind of leadership program. Four months later, I could not easily articulate the profound impact the experience of these trainings had on my life, both personally and professionally. I noticed that I had gained a sense of self-esteem that gave me courage to believe more fully in myself and my capacity to make a difference in the world. I started my private practice a year later at the age of 27 years old. I also noticed an enhanced ability to connect and create relationship with others. This made a noticeable difference in my personal life with family and friends as well as a much more meaningful connection with the many people I would treat as a psychotherapist. One of the greatest gifts I received from volunteering as a coach and now working as a facilitator is going beyond creating tangible positive change in my own life, but being a person that supports and inspires others to do so as well. Over ten years later, I am still practicing and grateful for the context of leadership in my life and the many possibilities it creates.
BIO
Ellen Pizer, LCSW
Ellen received her BA in French from Washington University in St. Louis and Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work from Smith College. She has been in private practice since November of 2001. Ellen completed WorldLegacy’s NC30 Leadership Program in May of 2000. She has worked as a consultant, co-facilitating experiential leadership trainings for teenagers and their parents for the WorldLegacy Foundation since 2003 (Teen Leadership).
“The sooner you decide that it is alright to believe the opposite of what the masses do, and that it is alright to trust the universe, and you choose to be happy rather than be right, the sooner you will be happy.” ― Malti Bhojwani
To be healthy I play games with myself. I give myself short goals. Walk for 15 minutes, go to the gym for 30 minutes, do 25 sit ups. Many times I end up doing much more. I find if I break down my goals into shorter pieces my mind says it is OK and even may end up doing more. If I don’t exceed it, I don’t beat myself up, I am proud I did it. People have asked my how I stay healthy during the WorldLegacy trainings. Days before the trainings, mentally I get ready for a training through visualizations, and physically I prepare through eating well. I also make my health shakes, ginger for tea, packets of vitamins, etc. I have a ritual every morning where I exercise my voice, take my vitamins and food and clear my mind. Many times I do EFT in the morning and evening to clear anything else during the trainings. I also see a chiropractor/oriental medicine practitioner after every Breakthough training as well as an acupuncturist.
Lori Todd, PhD
Dr. Lori Todd is the senior coach at WorldLegacy and a Leadership and Advanced Trainer. Lori has been coaching and leading transformational workshops since 1996, and leads trainings across the United States and Mexico. She received a BS from Antioch College, MS from Cornell University, and a PhD in Environmental Sciences from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In 1990, she became an Assistant Professor at UNC and, in 1994, President Clinton awarded her a Presidential Faculty Fellow award for her teaching and research, one of thirteen scientists in the US. In 1995, Lori was a finalist for the Discover Magazine Award for Technological Innovation for her research in mapping harmful chemicals in air. In addition to being a scientist, trainer and coach, Lori is an artist and animal lover. See DrLoriTodd.com
How I have used the WorldLegacy trainings to support my health
Using what I have learned through the WorldLegacy Basic, Advanced, Leadership, Staffing and Senioring has made a drastic impact on my health and how I view my health. Because of the trainings at WorldLegacy I see the importance of being responsible for what my health looks like. I also am getting that each moment is a new moment and that I can choose whatever I want in this moment no matter what I accomplished or didn’t accomplish yesterday or last week.
WorldLegacy and Being Responsible. I am learning to live in the present instead of being controlled by the thoughts, actions, and feelings of my past. In the past when I would set an exercise or other health goal and not reach it, I’d give up. I’d beat myself up mentally, make myself wrong, and wait (sometimes months) before setting another one. Now, I am learning to acknowledge the broken commitment to myself, I recommit and set a new goal, ready to take action.
I’ve also learned from the trainings how important it is to stay connected to my picture of a healthy life. When I am connected to that vision and picture of health, I am inspired to keep going, to get up when I fall down, but more importantly when I am connected to my picture of a healthy world I inspire the people around me to be healthy!
One very specific example of how I have used the trainings to support health is through the newest WorldLegacy training called Vision in Action (VIA). I made a commitment to enroll at least 25 people to play a Little Healthy Competition related to their health. The goal was for me to use the game to be more consistent with certain healthy habits and bring my awareness to this domain everyday for 8 weeks. We have over 60 people playing our game with us, players scoring lots of health points for drinking water, taking their vitamins, getting preventative medical care, educating themselves on health, and supporting other around them to live healthy lifestyles. I have been inspired by the players about what is possible in our families, workplaces, communities and in the world when we our health is a part of our life, not something separate we do. NONE of this would have been possible without VIA and the coaching I have received through this program. I can’t wait to report back on all our final results!
Most people carry on silent conversations with themselves during much of the day.
These internal dialogues influence our thoughts, emotions and behavior. Understanding self-talk and how it affects you is the first step in learning how to rewrite your self-talk “script” resulting in a less stressful way of life.
Thoughts and Behaviors
Self-talk can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, something you think about so much that you make it happen. When your self-talk is positive, “I can address these problems one at a time,” or, ”I can handle wearing a gas mask,” you are giving yourself permission to succeed and chances are you will. When your self-talk is negative,
“I know I will have a hard time keeping my gas mask on,” or “I know I will lose my balance when I get on the beam,” or “I am not smart enough to do this,” you are giving up on yourself and chances
are you will not even try to succeed. Often your self-talk reflects
the values and behaviors you learned as a child and the self-esteem
you now have as an adult.
Positive or Negative?
Negative self-talk can cause or increase your distress and make
effects such as headaches or stomach pain worse. Self-talk can also
encourage you to behave in destructive ways, which further stresses
your body. Fortunately, positive self-talk can have the opposite
effect, leading to lower stress levels.
How to rewrite Your Script
Learn to listen to your own self-talk. Draw three columns on a sheet
of paper. In the first column write several things you would like to
happen in your life: “I’d like a new car,” “I’d like to lose 10 pounds.”
Then close your eyes and listen to how you respond
to each item. Write your self-talk in the second column: “We cannot
afford it,” “I can probably do it, I’ve done it before.” In
the third column write down a thought that is opposite the statement
in column two. Look over your list. If column two is more positive
than column three you are already on your way to thinking positively.
But, if column two is more negative, look at column three for a more
helpful, healthier response. Practice choosing positive self-talk.
You will feel happier, more confident, and less stressed.
There is a saying: “You are what you eat.” An even truer
statement is: “YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.” It is your way of
“being.” It is not so much the events that occur in your life,
but how you respond to them.
BIOGRAPHY-UNITED STATES AIR FORCE RETIRED
LT COL (Colonel Select) J. CHARLES LINN
Lt Col James “JC” Linn was Director, Joint Regional Medical
Planning Office, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland. Tasked by the Joint Chiefs of Staff to plan, integrate, and execute regional response in the United States Joint Forces Command (USJFCOM) area of responsibility for wartime contingencies, domestic, and national security emergencies. This mission is accomplished by formulating, developing and coordinating many of the medical plans and operations affecting a great part of Eastern United States. Colonel Linn maintained medical readiness for worldwide contingencies with 1,500 staff members, a resource allocation of $113 million and 60-bed inpatient service. Hand selected by HQ USAF Surgeon General for Russian language skills training in St Petersburg, Russia, Col Linn was then slated as the AF only Russian Medical Liaison to the Pacific Air Command AF Surgeon General (PACAF/SG). Nominated as the White House Presidential Physician Associate, Linn medically supported the Presidential and Congressional special airlift missions as well as global aeromedical evacuation. Lt Col Linn was born in Newark, Ohio, 23 January 1951. He received a Bachelor of Science in Medicine from the University of Oklahoma, College of Medicine, a Masters of the Arts in Journalism degree, and his doctorate in Theocentric Psychology. He is ATLS, ACLS, ABLS, and PALS trained. He was pinned 1st Lieutenant in 1981, and Captain in 1983. In 2000, he was selected for Colonel. After 27 years of an Air Force career, and 23 years of medical practice, he was line of duty medically retired following a traumatic brain injury.
He thoroughly enjoys his coaching and leadership skills training at WorldLegacy in Chapel Hill, North Carolina and participates at
every opportunity. Dr. Linn was in the NC115 WorldLegacy Leadership Program at WorldLegacy. His hobbies include antique classic automobiles, woodworking, philately, antiquing, writing poetry, singing professionally, and contributing medical “pearls.” Dr Linn is married to the former Leyla Ann Sheahin of Washington, DC. Together, they have seven children; Jeffrey, Gary, Lisa, Rick, Jason, Åndria, and Allison; eleven grandchildren and four great-children.
